I've talked about toxic people before and how I struggle to mentally & physically cope with them in my life. I used to be an absolute magnet to them and I have had them pass through my life many times and in all forms.
Do you know a particular person who always seems to leave you feeling drained, exhausted and just generally gloomy? These people often seem like they are just plain hard work and they tend to leave you with feelings of negativity, low self esteem, anxiety and even rejection.
For me personally they make me feel totally crap about myself, how I live, how I think and how I do things. I made a pledge to myself about four years ago to dis-associate myself from anyone who makes me feel awful or leaves me with any emotion that drains me, particularly the emotion I dread the most - Rejection. Unfortunately a lot of the toxic people in my life have been family so this dis-association process that I have been through has left me in a position where I have very few personal friends & family.
To be perfectly honest I do not feel sad about this, it does hurt though. It hurts that people I have spent my life loving can treat me so cruel, however after making the big decision to no longer tolerate any toxicity in my life I actually feel a huge relief. It's a bit like cleaning out your closet. You know how great it feels when you have a good clear out, well that's how it feels when you ditch all the soul suckers from your life, because that is exactly what toxic people are...soul suckers. They suck the life out of you and take you from feeling happy & high to low & lifeless. Its basically a transference method that these people use as they unload all their angry and negative energy onto you so that they can walk away feeling cheery & bright. They then continue their day in a much better mood while you end up feeling like a big bag of poo.
So if you have someone in your life who makes you feel like this, then walk away. I wont lie to you, it does hurt at first and you will miss the person because they did have a good side to them as well as the bad but sadly a toxic person's good side is always, always so overshadowed by their toxicity. At first their absence is really felt, almost like you grieve for the person and feelings of guilt appear because you think that you may have been a bit harsh by your decision to let go. These emotions do pass as you then begin to feel an overwhelming sense of emotional freedom.
I'm not a perfect person, far from it and I have my faults just like everyone else but I cherish the people I love and appreciate having them in my life and everything they do for me. I now only surround myself with people who treat me as an equal, people who love me for who I am, people who respect me and what I stand for, people who stand by their morals and show some loyalty towards me. I no longer have toxicity in my life and it feels good.
Does this sound at all familiar to you? Are you a magnet to toxic people?