Monday, 31 January 2011

Quiet Reflection

We are approaching our youngest's 11th birthday and sitting here looking back eleven years to the turn of the Millennium Life was very different. I was four weeks away from giving birth to our 4th child, we lived in an area that I was happy in, we had a large social circle of friends and Life felt Good. However the next eleven years were full of so many changes...Changes I never would have imagined.

About seven years ago I became restless and dissatisfied with our surroundings. Don't get me wrong I loved the people who surrounded me they wasn't the problem but I had watched the area rapidly decline. Our next door neighbour Sandy passed away, he was our neighbour for the past 12 yrs and in his eighties so we knew it was only a matter of time.

A new woman and her unruly (putting it politely) children moved in. Sandy's tidy house was painted bright orange, his lovely tree's and plants dug up and trashed, dance music boomed through the walls all night long and she insisted on driving her car across my front garden to park on her own.

It was time to move on before I strangled her or drove my own kids barmy by playing Marilyn Manson full blast every morning to get the crazy ole bag up out of her pit as revenge. We made the decision to uproot the children and take them to a better area somewhere hopefully they would have a better quality of life

We moved 200 miles from everything & everyone and at first it felt good, it felt Peaceful. I did miss my many friends and family that I had left behind but the change was doing us the world of good, at first anyway. However the next few years life changed a whole lot more.

Our two teenage children struggled to settle into the new area, the oldest run away back to Essex. We knew he was safe but it broke my heart as I missed him so much and worried over what would become of him without our guidance in his life. I had every reason to worry as we were soon surprised with the news that we were to become Grandparents. I agonised over how our Son would cope with such a huge responsibility at such a young age without us being there to support him. Shortly after our Beautiful Granddaughter was born we discovered My Mum had Cancer and ten months later we had lost her.

I had a crazy year after Mum passed...Basically I lost the plot. Looking back I definitely had some kind of mental breakdown. My studies at Uni fell behind, I felt depressed, I drank too much and worst of all our marriage suffered terribly. We split for twelve months.

Reminiscing over that year fills me with utter dread, definitely not a year of fond memories but it taught me so much. It taught me that there really is only one life for me. A life with Papa. A life together as a family.I gave myself a shake and Papa & I worked through our problems. We were lucky. We fought for our marriage and we won. We moved back to Essex to be closer to our family, especially our Beautiful Granddaughter. We love being Grandparents together as a couple.

Life is Good again. I Now appreciate every moment of every day. I appreciate My husband more than ever...My children even more. I am Happy. I don't really want for material things, they are not what are important to me in my life. People are. People you love should be cherished and so should every minute you spend with them.

Time is important, Treasure it, be together and make every memory count!

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