December 12 – Body Integration - This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present? (Author: Patrick Reynolds)
This year I haven't once felt at all integrated with my body. My mind and my body are strangers.
I have gained soooo much weight over the past 4 yrs that I feel like someone has taken over my body.
Not sure why exactly...
I think maybe it was grief.
In the past whenever I was stressed or hurting I would lose my appetite...Losing Mum is definately the most stressful thing I have ever been through un yet it has had the opposite affect.
I have began comfort eating...Something I've never done before.
I hate it...hate it....hate it!
I look in the mirror and barely recognise myself.
I have a bottom drawer with old clothes...size 10's & 12's...You know the stuff like my favourite jeans, little skirt, tiny tee...just incase one day they will fit again.
It gets me down so much that I rarely bother with image anymore.
I used to blow dry my hair most days, paint my nails every night, work out every day, make an effort with my appearance...
I feel like a complete slob!
This has to change.
I have no energy...
I feel unwell...a lot.
Everything feels like such an effort.
I know its my weight because I never felt like this in my slimmer days...
I just do not carry my fat well.
Things have to change.
I need to get fit & healthy again.
I need to feel me again.
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