Friday, 12 March 2010

Writers Workshop - Dear Emma



Im a little late joining in Mama Kat's workshop this week...Hope you can forgive me.
I was a little undecided as to which prompt to choose as the obvious one was:
1.) Write a letter to yourself from someone who has passed on. (ie: parent, grandparent, famous person, friend, pet, etc)

I was in two minds to do it because I seem to be writing about My Mum a lot lately and Im begining to sound a bit depressing but then I stopped by Brea's Blog and read her entry and thought to myself...Why Not I'll give it a go.

Dear Em,

I didnt want to leave you and the boys...
I really didnt
I wasn't ready...
I was afraid.
I didnt want you to be there the night I passed
I knew you wouldnt cope with it very well.

I dont blame you and the boys for not visiting me in the chapel of rest
or for not tending my Grave
I know you cant bear to go there and be reminded
It will make you angry knowing Im 6ft under your feet.

By the way that photo you all picked for the funeral was awful
You know I hated it!
But I know you liked it so I guess I can forgive you.

Talking of funerals did you like the stunt I pulled with the hearse?
I knew the minute I got the hearse to break down in the middle of a busy EastEnd high street
You would All Laugh
"Flipping Typical...Mums late for her own Funeral!"
I heard you...
Me, Grandad and Aunt Toot were up here killing ouselves laughing!
That was Grandads idea!

Heaven does exist.
It is great up here
I get my hair done whenever I want
My feet rubbed all the time
and I look Fantastic in My bikini again...My stretch marks have vanished!

I'm so relieved You and Papa syder sorted out your differences
He was grieving too Em
He was like a Son to me.
Dont you ever let things between you get like that again!


Get My retirement house sorted out!
What possessed you to ignore all my hard graft I put into that place?
I want it looking lovely and you all using it
just as I planned.
Love The idea of you naming it after me
Makes me feel important.

Dont let the kids forget me Em
Remind them of me whenever you can
Tell them I love them
And wish that I could take them to Clacton pier for ice cream.

Those white feathers were from me.

Im glad you have given up smoking
Now sort your weight out.
The double chin doesnt look good on you
Stop that comfort eating.
No amount of biscuits is gonna bring me back.


Im sorry I didnt tell you I was dying
I just couldnt bring myself to do it
I know you understand.


Ive got My eye on you all So Make sure you Behave!

See you when you get here...Aunt Toot is shouting out to tell you "We will have a big party!"

Be Happy

Love Always
Mum xxxx

13 comments:

  1. This is funny and gut wrenching at the same time. I am sure she wanted to shield you by not telling you she was dying. But I know that feeling - I was furious with my parents for a good long while for not telling me my sister was going to die so I didn't get to say goodbye.

    I will be thinking of you on Mother's Day.

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  2. So Sorry you didnt get to say Goodbye to your sister...atleast I had that chance with my Mum in the end.
    Thankyou for your Lovely comment...It really is very appreciated x

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  3. Okay, I love how you made her personality pop right out of the letter! It was like I knew her myself.... Thanks for coming to visit my post too!

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  4. This is a very touching post. I'm sorry I don't really know what to say. It makes me value my parents more, knowing that they won't be around forever. Isn't that awful? They're nearing their sixties, both have had life-changing operations, and yet I didn't get it until today.

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  5. Very touching yet witty. I love the part about her being late to her own funeral. Sad but funny.

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  6. Thankyou so Much Pamela, Lindsey and lolli for your lovely comments.
    I must admit Ive always struggled with the whole 'Heaven thing' but Mums hearse breaking down was soooo uncanny...She was constantly late for everything...It did get me thinking! x

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  7. Powerful and moving at the same time, I think you are writing about your mum a lot because you most possibly need to at this time, I am sure it is very cathartic.

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  8. Thankyou Kella, I think you are probally so right. Up untill quite recently I struggled to talk/think about her without crying but the more I write the more it seems to be helping...I now cry less. Which is Good because it was driving me mad, lol x

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  9. Yes I agree with the other posters, sad yet witty at the same time.....thank you for sharing, I've loved reading these letters xx

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  10. Hi Emma,

    I think this letter would be a very healing part of the grieving process. Taking the time to stop and think what she would have said to you is a great way of keeping her memory close to your heart. Next best thing to the real thing. Good on you for writing this.

    Libby

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  11. I found your blog from the Writers Workshop (just reading, not participated yet but may do soon). I just wanted to say I thought that your post was beautiful and it brought a lump to my throat. Thanks for posting such a personal and beautiful thing.

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  12. Thankyou so much for your lovely comments Libby & Lucia...They are so appreciated.
    I have definately found writing about Mum has been helping me move on a little bit...I had been feeling a bit stuck x

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